Thursday, April 19, 2012

How To Drink Your Own Whisky On A Plane

In this life there will always be hidden secrets and myths. There are stories from Native American Indians, the Aboriginal Dreamtime, Korea, India and many other countries. Explore such things, and you will find out how the Kangaroo got his tail, how Coyote created the human being and what happened to the ungrateful tiger.

Today we delve into the profound and elusive world of in-flight drinking culture; a culture that is veiled in myth and mystery. Not even a word, a paragraph or even a book could encompass all there is to know about the human fascination with high altitude alcohol consumption. What is certain is that information is the key to maximizing your in-flight drinking experience.

Many of you who are reading this may have heard of the infamous "mile high" club and other crude and often vulgar stunts humans have attempted in-flight. We are not in the business of promoting such behaviour. The following paragraph explains a proven, little known and unadvertised procedure on how to drink your own alcohol on a plane in a civilized manner.

The procedure is simple. Buy a bottle of any whisky you wish duty free. Upon boarding the plane take a survey of the stewards/stewardesses working. Find the one that looks most amicable and easy going. Confidently take them aside and tell them you would like him/her to open the bottle of whisky and serve it to you with ice at your behest. They will assert that that the consumption must be kept to a respectable level. Oblige them. Be cooperative. Prove yourself as the harmless lush looking to make the best of their in-flight experience.

I was informed of this procedure by an Israeli whisky guru who I had the pleasure of meeting while flying into an Arab country (Jordan). I have successfully done this on many international flights since.

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1 comment:

  1. Great advice! I will have to try it sometime. By the way, I enjoy your writing style.